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Telling Your Partner

At Abortion Advice, we know that a pregnancy can be planned or unplanned. And we also know that knowing you are pregnant can be a shock, especially if you have not yet fully prepared for it at that time. One of the first things that come to mind after discovering that you are pregnant is how to tell your partner. How do you tell him that he is responsible for this pregnancy? Sometimes, you may not be so sure who is responsible for your pregnancy. So the news of being pregnant can come with feelings of anger against your partner, fear about what he will say and anxiety about what comes next. Do not be alarmed; these feelings are normal, given the circumstances. These feelings can be challenging to deal with all at once, and you may need that little push to get it done. Here are a few useful tips to help you prepare for that crucial conversation:

Confirm pregnancy

First, be sure that you are pregnant. You want to make sure that you have carried out a pregnancy test. If you have used a test kit, ensure you confirm the test results at a recognized health centre.

Time and setting

Choose a time and setting that is suitable to have the conversation. This should be when you are both in happy moods; excited or relaxed. Ensure that you choose a place with no distractions, preferably a private spot but not online, so that you can see his reaction.

Trusted friends

Talk to your trusted friends. This will help you reduce anxiety and gain support from loved ones. It will help boost morale. Also, it will help you practice how you will tell your partner and improve your confidence.

Set a positive mood

Set a positive mood and maybe start with an appreciation or a nice compliment about your relationship with him.

Be straightforward

While it may be fun to play games with the news and attempt ‘guess what’ games, it is not advisable. It is safer to go straight to the point and inform him about the news of your pregnancy, showing him the test results. After telling your partner, you should:

Be silent and wait for his reaction

You should be silent after telling him about the news as he may be speechless and trying to process the new information. So give him time to respond.

Answer his questions

Sometimes, your partner may not be thinking and may sometimes ask insensitive questions like ‘is the pregnancy mine?’ Also, he may say things like ‘I will support you anyway I can or in whatever you do.’ Sometimes such questions or statements may be due to shock and may not reflect his true intentions. So be calm, be patient and answer his questions confidently.

Show love and support

Ensure you show him all the love and support he needs. You are both responsible, so show him that you will support him as a partner and friend. Our pregnancy support team is ready to help you every step of the way in preparing you on how best to tell your partner given your unique circumstances. We offer free services and keep our services confidential.

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